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Monday, October 26, 2009
things had been difficult for the past few days. and yeah, i have to do a re-test in order to be promoted to sec 4 :( but i will definitely try supppeeerrr hard 'cause i'm positive that i can do it. all i need to do now is FOCUS. i've been feeling down for the past days. just before i go to bed, i'll shed few tears, reflecing on what happen during the day, and thinking about all the problems i'm having. then i'll wake up the next morning with tears in my eyes, wondering what would happen later part of the day. sighs :( i want to let out some stuff in my blog today. i got attached last friday with Fauzi. after several months he tried to make me his, he finally got his wish. lols. everything went fine, when this morning, at 1.30am, i decided to break up with him. you'll definitely feel pissed off when you found out that your boyfriend/girlfriend lie to you right? that's what i'm feeling right now. i've known him for almost a year, and yesterday was the FIRST time he yelled at me. we fought quite a lot yesterday, and i decided to make the move. i don't really have much feelings for him, anyway. i'm actually kinda disappointed in myself, too. his friends tried to convince me that he's not what i thought he was. but yeah, i was too stubborn, and this is what i get. To Fauzi, i'm still shock that you actually yelled at me. i thought you were really sincere in loving me. i trusted you, and i told you everything. EVERYTHING. you knew everything about me. about my life, and you are even willing to listen to me talking about him. you gave me advices when i'm feeling down, and give me a comforting hug. you tried to convice me plenty of times about trusting you. well, i did. yesterday, when you blurted out that you were actually not sincere towards me, i felt like i was just stabbed in the back. i never knew you'd be like this. just wanna tell you, thanks for everything. i just realised that all the stuff you told me was actually bullsh*t. no point in apologising to me now. i gave you the chance, and you totally blew it. i accepted you, thinking that maybe i could move on from him. but the more i'm with you, the more i think of him. you knew about the bad stuff that i just faced few weeks ago, and now you're adding more into it. you're no help at all. just so you know, i'm not in love with you and never will. and you do know that i'm in love with someone else. anyway, thanks for the past few days. i hope that you have a great life ahead. this is what you want, this is what you get. no point shedding tears in front of me, cause i'm not gonna fall for that again. goodbye:) this is the shortest relationship i've been in. a 3-day relationship. but, i felt really great letting him go. i'm not even upset actually, just disappointed only. anyway, the past is the past. i'mn ot looking back. i'm just gonna concentrate on my studies and the future:) btw, class photo-taking today was AWESOME:D "M" is very helpful today, and Chris Putih looked cuter than before:) he looked much more charming today, honestly speaking. i love you more and more as time goes by<3 Labels: stabbed in the back |
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